#gonna fucking off myself

[inkskinned]

you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

[beefharlot]

Rewatching Arcane after the finale is kind of insane in hindsight like take this scene for example

Jayce defending hextech/magic to Viktor, based on his childhood experience of him and his mother being saved from a snowstorm by a mage, who we now know was Viktor. Saying “you’ve no idea how beautiful it is” to Viktor, about Viktor. It’s been about Viktor this whole time.

Also a fun bit of foreshadowing because Viktor DOESN’T know how beautiful it (it being he) is. The actions Viktor took in s02 were motivated by him wanting to improve the lives of others, but his view of what “improving” the lives of others is deeply rooted in his own view of himself and his internalized ableism (which smarter and more eloquent people than me have explained on here already so I won’t go on about it). It took seeing Jayce’s POV of him to bring him back to his humanity. “There is beauty in imperfections. They made you who you are, an inseparable piece of everything I admired about you” Like AU Viktor said to Jayce, “Only you can show me this”. Man what the fuck

[spending-life-pretending]

conservatives really wanna act like the “woke left” is winning the culture war or whatever when people are out here making basil and dorian brothers and casting white men to play heathcliff in 2024

[macdenlover]

I GRADUATE TOMORROW!!!

[literalcyborg]

Everyone is all for sex positivity until aroallos want equality, huh?

Everyone is all for stopping the sexualization of women until they’re ace, hm?

Everyone is all for community and openness until cishet aces or aros want to be rightfully recognized as queer, right?

Stop the aphobic bullshit and take a step back. Look at your biases. Look at the language you use and realize how mean you’re being. Learn from your mistakes and become a kinder person.

I used to be aphobic. I didn’t understand how someone could feel little to no romantic attraction especially, and it was because I am very alloromantic. But that is exactly how homophobes look at the rest of the queer community. Since they don’t experience the attraction we do, the choose to believe it’s not real.

Just because you don’t fully understand what it’s like to be aspec doesn’t mean you should be hating aspec people. They are queer too. Fucking treat them as such.

[pigeonneaux]

I hear you call my name (and it feels like home)

[novreader]

I want to fuck him so bad aushgwwgwggwgwgeg

[bacchuschucklefuck]

pygmalion and galatea for aroace people

you should tell your friends what I look like, riz gukgak.

[omtai]

it feels everytime mcr does something major everyone has got to complain for the next week and a half. feels like christmas dinner daily on tumblr the way everyone’s fighting all the time

[inkskinned]

the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

[skitskatdacat63]

I've decided to do myself what the cowards at Aston won't. Behold.

[genericpuff]

i need y'all to know how much i love my husband and his definition of a 'joke gift'

he went shopping to pick up a gift for his upcoming staff party, they do yankee swap every year (the game where you unwrap gifts one by one and people trade them in an attempt to get the thing they want)

and he was like "btw i got you a joke gift" so i was expecting something small n' silly to tide me over until actual christmas

Y'ALL WHERE'S THE JOKE-

HE DEADASS JUST BOUGHT ME THE PHYSICAL BOX SET OF ROBERT FAGLES' TRANSLATIONS OF HOMER??? THIS MAN ??? HE KNOWS ME TOO WELL, HE KNOWS WHY THIS IS HILARIOUS BUT I ACTUALLY LOVE IT SO MUCH LMAOO

[wintaebear]

will someone point out to jack that he too was going to get the ring for boss by marrying rosé? and he only didn't because of romantic qualms and not moral ones?

[flamemons]

[pjshermann]

thinking about Julia cutting off the crusts on Jude's sandwich....thinking about Jude buying Julia little bird earrings.....thinking about Jude being genuinely interested in Julia's work.....thinking about Jude and Julia talking about Harold's odd thanksgiving food tradition.......thinking about the cookies Jude made for Julia's lab........thinking about Julia's anger when Harold tolerated Jude's cutting......thinking about Julia reading to Jude in the hospital..........thinking about Julia keeping Jude company in the kitchen bc they both dont care for sports.................thinking about despite his aversion to touch, Jude kisses Julia goodnight.............thinking about Jude and Julia.........................

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

yea